The Plan

So my dear friend, Beth, wants to know the plan for getting myself into shape. And because I love Beth more than my luggage I present you The Plan.

First up, I rejoined Weight Watchers. I joined a few years ago and had great success. And then I stopped. And then my ass got big again. And it sucked. But I did do really well when I followed it so I'm trying again. The thing about WW is that it's just common sense. And apparently I lack common sense when it comes to food at times. The thing I like most about WW is that it doesn't make anything off limits - it just reminds you how important portion control is when it comes to certain things. So I started right after the first of the year and I'm down 7.5lbs. Sure, most of that is water weight but I'd be lying if I said it didn't feel fan-freaking-tastic to get on the scale and see the number get smaller. (Sidebar: I've debated about putting my starting weight out there. I've decided not to do that. For one thing, the number makes me sad and I'm focusing on staying happy and positive. And for another thing, the numbers don't matter near as much to me as looking in the mirror and thinking, "I look great". But maybe when I reach my goal I'll share where I started. Then again, maybe not)

Next, I've joined a boot camp. It's an all women's facility and it is awesome. I had originally planned to go to a co-ed boot camp but I'm already self-conscious and I don't need to be sweaty and panting and self-conscious. Anyway, I've only been to boot camp twice since I started last week but good lord, it's kicking my ass. I had a physical assessment over the weekend so we could see where I'm starting and compare again every 4 weeks. There were some things I did well on like the mile run, flexibility test and muscle mass. And then there were other things that I didn't do so well on like pull-ups (I just hung there like a frozen monkey. It was sad) and push ups. Apparently my legs are quite strong and my arms are...well the trainer didn't say this but basically they are like veal - no muscle at all. *sigh* Anyway, after two boot camp classes in two days, my body is sore. Very, very, oh my god I can't get out of the tub sore. And yet, I'm so happy about it and I'm so excited about starting this whole thing. So that's the deal with boot camp.

I also have a 5 mile race in April. I have several friends running it with me so I've been getting myself ready for that as well. Boot camp may interfere with my runs for a few weeks as my body adjusts to the abuse but I think in the long run it will help with the race.

So that there is the plan. Stay tuned for Operation Tiny Ass updates.

My Groundbreaking Resolution

Brace yourself, for I am about to be one big, fat New Year's resolution cliche.

Ready?

"I resolve to lose weight in 2012."

One big, fat cliche, I know. But the truth is, I've been unhappy with my body for a while. I remember when I was in high school I used to think that I was so fat. I would stand in front of the mirror and pick apart each and every part of my body. Now when I look at pictures of myself from back then I want to slap that wicked teenager because good Lord, my body was fantastic. I had a completely flat stomach with visable abs thanks to volleyball and track. My arms were toned and had no jiggle at all. And my legs....oh my legs. For only being 5'4", my legs are actually quite long. And when they are in good shape, they go on forever. Being a good Latina, three things on me have more than average volume - bust, ass and hair. I hated all three in high school. I was so self-concious of my boobs and booty that I never appreciated them. And now, years later, I would kill to see them in their former glory. My hair I've come to appreciate and realize how lucky I am to have it but the other two...well they've just sort of...shifted. Sure, some of it's just because I'm getting old but that's little comfort when I stand in front of my full-length mirror when getting ready in the morning. And it's even less comfort when I'm in yoga class taught by a woman who has a good 20 years on me and she looks like Jillian Michaels.

So, I decided that this will be the year that I no longer stand in front of that mirror feeling blue. I don't want to feel frustrated getting dressed anymore. I don't want to stare at my skinny jeans in the closet and know that they would look cute with my new boots except for the fact that they won't squeak over my hips. I want a flat stomach again. I want toned legs and arms again. I want to look in the mirror and think "Hot damn!" not "Ehhh, that'll do".

So there it is - the ugly truth. I didn't want to write about this at all but I think putting it out there will help keep me accountable. At least that's my hope. So there could a whole lotta fitness talk all up in this blog - consider yourself warned.

Year in Review - 2011

1. What did you do in 2011 that you've never done before?

Vacationed in Key West - rented this amazing house, went deep sea-fishing, spent a day sailing and sea-kayaking and went to my first drag show which was awesome!

2. Did you make any new year's resolutions in 2011 and will you make any for 2012?

Didn't really make any for 2011 but already working on them for 2012.

3. Did anyone close to you give birth this year?

Becki brought Miss Anisley Rae to the world and Lisa had baby Holden.

4. Did anyone close to you die?

No. I'm so thankful for that.

5. What countries did you visit?

No other countries in 2011. I miss international travel a lot.

6. What would you like to have in 2012 that you didn't have in 2011?

Self discipline when it comes to food and fitness.

7. What dates from 2011 are etched in your memory and why?

October 1 - my sister got married.

8. What is your biggest achievement?

My garden this summer! Tomatoes, zucchini, bell peppers, jalepenos, strawberries and raspberries. There is something to be said for cooking with food you grew yourself.

9. What is your biggest failure?

My dating life sure wasn't pretty this year.

10. Did you suffer any illness or injury?

Started the year sicker than a dog with a stupid cold that turned into bronchitis and a double ear infection. And the worst allergies I've had in my life.

11. What is the best thing you bought?

My new bed. I've had 4 beds in the last 5 years...because I am the Princess & The Pea. But the search is over because this one is magic.

12. Whose behavior merited celebrations?

Gabby Gifford and Mark Kelly. I'm so inspired every time I read about them.

13. Whose behavior made you appalled and depressed?

Anthony Weiner and Herman Cain for obvious reason.

14. Where did most of your money go?

The bungalow.

15. What did you get really, really excited about?

Key West trip, my cousin Bradley's wedding, going to Adele's concert, two week at-home vacation at Christmas.

16. What song will always remind you of 2011?

17. Compared to this time last year are you

a) happier or sadder? So much happier.

b) thinner or fatter? About the same. (This makes

me sadder - and it has for a while)

c) richer or poorer? Richer.

18. What do you wish you'd done more of?

Saved money

19. What do you wish you'd done less of?

Letting other people's drama become my own.

20. How did you spend Christmas?

Christmas Eve is big with my family and everyone was at my house for dinner and presents. Christmas day was spent relaxing with the fam and then fondue dinner with my bestie.

21. Did you fall in love in 2011?

No...in fact I became more cynical about dating because, good Lord, I had some awful dates.

22. What was your favorite TV program?

Modern Family. I crack up every single time I watch that show.

23. Do you hate anyone that you didn't hate last year?

Hate isn't really my thing, so no.

24. What was the best book you read?

Steve Jobs by Walter Isaacson

25. What was your greatest musical discovery?

"Discovery" seems a bit much as I rarely take credits for musical discoveries but here's what I liked this year:

"Someone Like You" - Adele ~ So I bought her album the day it came out because I've been a super-fan since 2008 when I first heard her sing. Anyway, I downloaded '21' first thing in the morning and listened on my way into work. Heard "Someone Like You" as I was pulling into the parking lot at work and just sat there and listened to it about 3 more times. If this were the old days and I had an actual album or tape of '21' I would have worn it out. The entire album is perfection.

"Stereo Hearts" - Gym Class Heros ~ It's just so catchy. And reminds me of driving through Chicago with my cousin Bradley. We were completely lost but didn't mind as we belted this one out.

"No Church in the Wild" - Kayne West & Jay-Z ~ So 'Watch the Throne' would be my number 2 album of 2011. So great. This song is hypnotic and perfect for running; just gets me in the zone.

"Super Bass" - Nicki Minaj ~ Can't you hear that boom badoom boom badoom boom bass?

"These Days" - Foo Fighters ~ I love Foo Fighters so much. In the movie of my life, a lot of their music has been on the soundtrack.

"Firework" - Katy Perry ~ I can get on board with a song that has such a positive message. Plus, it's just pop at it's finest.

"You & I" - Lady Gaga ~ I was in Nebraska several times in 2011 and I always blast this song while driving.

"Pumped up Kicks" - Foster the People ~ This song makes me want drive in the mountains with the windows rolled down.

26. What did you want and get?

My iPad!

27. What did you want and not get?

A new front porch.

28. Favorite film of the year?

I like lists instead of just picking one:

Moneyball

The Muppets

Bridesmaids

The Help

29. What did you do on your birthday and how old were you?

BBQ with friends and family. This was my 35th year.

30. What one thing would have made you immeasurably more happy?

Getting my weight under control.

31. How would you describe your personal fashion concept in 2011?

The mid-30's slump. I seem to wear the same few outfits all the time.

32. What kept you sane?

Getting more sleep, book club nights with my girls, using all of my vacation time this year.

33. Which celebrity/public figure did you fancy the most in 2011?

So I realize as a Denver girl, I should be saying Tebow and he's cute and all but Aaron Rodgers is my idea of eye-candy. He's so scruffy and manly and...yum.

34. Which political issue stirred you the most?

The Arab Spring.

35. Who did you miss?

My sisters. Nasty fall out in January left us in radio silence for over six months. It was stupid and awful and though it seems to be over now, it still makes me so sad that we wasted that time.

36. Who was the best new person you met?

I didn't meet anyone who really blew my hair back this year.

37. Tell us a valuable lesson you learned in 2011.

Resentment is like drinking poison and expecting the other person to die.

38. Quote a song lyric that sums up your year.

"Learning to walk again

I believe I've waited long

Where do I begin?

Learning to talk again

Can't you see I've waited long enough

But where do I begin?"

- Foo Fighters 'Walk'

The Good Old Days

So here I am, trying to write again. I always have the best intentions when I say I'm going to write on this blog again but then stuff happens and I don't. But the thing is, writing makes me happy. It's a stress reliever. And even my very worst writing is good because it's a creative outlet for me and lately I've realized that some form of creativity is necessary in life for me to be happy.

I won't try to fill in the last couple of years on here because a) that feels overwhelming and I don't need overwhelming right now and b) I doubt anyone who read this blog back in the day still reads now so no point in the update. I'm sure there will be some stories from the past because there are just some that should be shared...

How I Spent my Friday

Despite the fact that my boys lost their home opener, I was one happy girl on Friday. The weather was perfect, the beer was cold, the friends and family were many. I don't understand people who don't enjoy baseball.

Hardcover Happiness

The first time I read the book was in high school. I'll the the first to admit that though I was in AP English, I rarely read a book cover to cover. Most of the selections were rather dull and tedious to my teenage brain so more often than not, I would read a few chapters, decide the book sucked and then did one of the following to get through the test or report: a) picked up the Cliff Notes, b) discussed with a friend who had read the whole thing or c) took a guess on how it ended and just winged it. Sadly, these approaches served me well and I always had an A or B and even managed to get college credit using these techniques. (Sidebar: My memoirs will be titled "Acheiving Success Through Total Mediocrity") Anywho, back to the book...

So I read it in high school and for once, I read the entire book. And then I read it again. All before the damn thing was even due for class. Never before had a book had quite the impact that this book had on me. I laughed, I cried, I thought about God, I thought about death and I thought about friendship. I wanted to name my son after the main character. Throughout the years I've reread this book a dozen times. Each time I love it a little more.

When I moved back to Denver from Omaha in 1999 I lost my original copy and decided to get a hardcover. I really wanted a 1st edition and began searching for one. I found a few copies but my budget in 1999 was roughly 11 cents as I was broke so I couldn't afford any of the copies I found. For years I would look in every used book store I went into but never could find a decent 1st edition. There's a used book store in the Milwaukee airport and they have my name on file in case one came in. There are two used book stores in my neighborhood who also have my name and number. I've checked bookstores in Boston, Dallas, San Diego, New Jersey, Arizona, Tallahassee to name a few and never found what I wanted. Sure, there were a few copies around but usually they were in pretty bad shape or the bookstore wanted a stupid amount of money for a beat up copy.

So last weekend I was having brunch with my friend in Highlands. Afterwards we walked around some of the shops near the restaurant. As we walked by a used book store my friend asked if I wanted to check for my book. I agreed but had already resigned myself to the fact that they wouldn't have it because, for the love of everything that is good, no one ever had my book. So, I walked up to the lady who worked there and asked her if they had a hardcover copy. She walked back with me and we looked. No luck. She told me she would go check the books that they had just received. Nothing. Then she said she would check the section signed the author. Nada. I thanked her and was getting ready to leave when she grabbed my sleeve and said there was one more place to check. I followed her to a book shelf off in the far corner of the store. The little bronze plate on the top read "First Editions". I have no idea why but the second I saw that bronze plate, I knew it was there. Sure enough a few seconds later she pulled an immaculate 1st edition, FIRST PRINT copy of the book off the shelf. She smiled broadly as she handed me the copy and said, "It's in really good shape." And in additional to being in really good shape, it was also very reasonably priced. So I skipped up to the register and happily handed over some cash and thanked the woman a million times for helping me find it.

It's been home for a week and I can't seem to bring myself to put it on a book shelf so it's just been sitting on the dining room table. I walk by it several times a day and every single time I just grin ear to ear. Sometimes I pick it up and run my hand over the cover or smell it (What? I like the smell of books.) I just like knowing that it's all mine.

Snotty New Year

Well so far 2011 has kicked my boo-tay. I flew out on New Year's Eve to visit one of my best friends and we were supposed to go out to go see a band play and ring in the new year. Instead, I was on the couch in my jammies, feeling like doo-doo. And then I went to urgent care a few days later and was diagnosed with a double ear infection and an upper respiratory infection. I flew home a couple of days after that and though not feeling 100%, I went back to work. And by this past Monday I was feeling about as rotten as I had before the 10 days of antibiotics. So I went back to the doctor on Monday to be told that I still have an ear infection and now a sinus infection and STILL an upper respiratory infection. If I were 15 I'd say FML. But since I'm 34 I'll say...oh the hell with it - Fuck My Life. So I've been home sick for the last few days and I am slowly losing my mind. Turns out, there is NOTHING on tv during the day. And I've been reading my new book for book club but even that is tiring when I have to put down my book to cough up a lung every 5 minutes. I did manage to make some yummy cookies this afternoon - oatmeal, cranberry, white chocolate chip cookies. Nomnomnomnomnom, if I do say so myself.

Anyway, this cold was not how I was had intended to start the year. All my motivation was blow out in a Puffs Plus about a week ago. So now I'm all sad and blue because I feel like I've already lost 3 weeks worth of whatever this year had to offer. I might be being a tad dramatic but between the illness and the houseboundness and the general feeling of yuck, I'm just sad. Plus, January has never been my favorite month, so there's that too.

So in the interest of getting me out of my funk, I decided to do little things to make myself hapy. First, the cookies. Just the smell of something baking makes me cheery. Then I called the neighbor kids over and gave them a dozen and they were so excited and kept telling me how yummy the cookies were and that make me really happy because I love cooking for people but I really love cooking for people who love my cooking. And then I worked on getting my passport renewed because I've decided that in 2011 I will be doing some international travel. Perhaps as a 35th birthday to myself. Who knows. And now I'm going to do a little yoga before bed today...assuming I do drown in my own snot when I going into downward dog. Yoga always makes me feel better. And then I will take the awesome cough medicine that puts me into the deepest, lovliest sleep ever. And I'm always a happier person when I get sleep.

So that's the update from here. Not much exciting to report but hey, at least I'm writing.