That's Three Hours I'll Never Get Back

There I was last night, all excited to watch the Academy Award festivities and right as it was starting, the cable goes out. No I’m not kidding. They were rolling the opening credits and the screen just freezes. I started getting a bit stressed as I am, admittedly, a pop culture nerd and didn’t want to miss anything. But after a few moments the cable came back and three hours later, I was kind of wishing it hadn’t.

The controversial host, Chris Rock, not so controversial. And not so funny either. I miss Billy Crystal. Chris’ spiel with Adam Sandler was painful and they both knew it.

Why did Beyonce sing 3 of the 5 nominated songs? Was everyone else busy? The one with her and Josh Groban almost pushed me over the edge. They both have lovely voices but they sounded horrible together. The Counting Crows performance was not good and Adam’s hair was alarming. And then there was Antonio Banderas and Carlos Santana’s demolition of the winner for best song, “Al Otro Lado Del Rio”. No wonder the guy who performed the song in the film sang his acceptance…he wanted people to know how it should sound.

I heart Orlando Bloom.

Did Scarlett Johannson lose a bet? That’s the only explanation I have for her hair being a frizzy nightmare.

Laura Linney’s hair scared me. I’m praying like hell the wet look is not making a comeback.

Renee Zellweger has officially gone to a bad hair, make-up and dress place.

Halle Berry looked flawless. Halle, please teach a class and enroll Renee asap.

Melanie Griffith – yikes.

Drew as a brunette was not my favorite.

I heard that Penelope Cruz is engaged to Matthew McConaughey. True or false?

Why did they make those poor people receive their statues from the bleacher seats? Isn’t it bad enough that they are in a category that only their mothers care about? Now they don’t even get to walk to the stage and stand at a podium to make their acceptance speeches?

And what about the people who had to stand on-stage with the competition while the award was announced? It looked like a 6th grade spelling bee.

I understand that Star Jones-Reynolds is happily married and has lost some weight but do I need to be reminded of that during the red carpet stuff? Also, her “stylist” should be shot for putting her in that dress. It did not compliment her at all and the camera angle was not forgiving.

Ok, so it wasn’t all bad. I thought Robin Williams was a riot. I thought Gwennyth looked pretty. Hilary Swank’s acceptance speech was classy and she seems to be one of the most genuine people in Hollywood. Annette Benning looked gorgeous. Clive Owen, I love you. Oh, and I saw Jay-Z whom I love as well.

Other than that, a big, fat disappointment. And while I was bummed about Sunday's television viewing, I'm really excited about the Bachelorette finale tonight because it's LIVE! and because I heard Jen is knocked up which really would make it the most dramatic rose ceramony ever. Hopefully, tomorrow's post won't be titled, "That's Two Hours I'll Never Get Back".