Greetings from Branson, Missouri! Home of blue-haired old ladies, lots of craft malls, big ol’ bugs, way too much humidity and currently, yours truly.
I’ve now been in this town for roughly 27 hours and in that time, I’ve been bitten by at least 6 beeeeeellion bugs, watched my hair-don’t grow to roughly 3 times it’s normal size and consumed a whole lot of fried food.
Our hotel is absolutely gorgeous and should you ever find yourself in Branson, please stay at the Chateau on the Lake. There’s no false advertisement here – it really is a Chateau and it’s on a lake. Go figure. The rooms are all huge and each night when I come home, my bed is turned down, the radio is on with classical music playing and there are chocolates on the pillow. The last fact is lost on me as I do not like chocolate…unless it’s a frozen Snickers bar…then I’m a happy girl. The beds are huge and comfy and come with four pillows so you can really burrow in for optimum sleepage. The mini bar is pimped out and a source of great temptation when one comes home from the bar late and a little bit tipsy…allegedly. The bathroom has a huge tub and a speaker through which one can reroute the radio or tv so that you can take shower or a poopie all while Matt and Katie are delivering the morning news. They have plush robes which are very spa-like and placed out on the bed each night. The robe calls to me. Kendra, get out of your stinky bar clothes and relax in my cotton-y goodness.
Speaking of stinky bar clothes…
As I was talking to a co-worker tonigh, a guy with long blond hair walked by us. I asked the co-worker if we were in the guy who had just walked past us had a mullet. Co-worker laughed and then said, “Oh that’s a mullet alright... but that’s no guy.” I turned around to see the woman with a Joe Dirt mullet. And then suddenly there were two mullets. Mrs. Joe Dirt was nuzzling her husband who had the exact same mullet. Short up front, party in the back! Damn! Even girls with frizzy mullets find love before I do.
And with that, I headed home where I thought I would NOT drunk dial anyone (Go me!) but rather drunk blog. I’m not exactly drunk but I wouldn’t let me operate heavy machinery or anything. Perhaps I should just toss those chocolates aside, burrow into the bed and get some sleep. Thankfully the bed is king sized because anything smaller wouldn’t be able to hold both me and my humidified hair.
5 comments:
Kendra, what's wrong with a girl wearing a mullet?! Hahaha..EVERYTHING is wrong with that! Thank God I no longer have one. :) Sounds like a blast!! Have fun!
At least your hotel didn't burn down. Like my parents' condo did when THEY were in Branson. Though on the up side, it's harder to be the Drunk Dialing Bandit when your cell phone is a piece of molten plastic. Not that you should hope for a fire, I'm just sayin'. Oh, and the drunk blogging is a great idea, because you never have to say you're sorry for blogging people in the middle of the night and any sort of obnoxious and/or inappropriate commetns can simply be edited out. You should stick to this format... : )
Yes mullet-girl has a man, but he has a mullet too. So really you shouldn't feel bad for yourself. You wouldn't really want that would you? Feel bad for them and their mulleted future children.
One time, I saw a couple that had what can only be described as reverse mullets. Shaved on bottom and spiked up. SEXY.
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