I was getting ready to head downtown last night and I was on the phone when my other line rang in. Thinking it was my friend who I had just left a message for, I clicked over without even looking at the caller i.d.
Caller with no i.d.: Well, well, well. She finally answers her phone.
KC: Who is this?
CWNID: No wonder you answered. You don't even know who this is?
KC: Um, no.
CWNID: It's M.
KC: Oh, hi.
M: Don't sound so happy to hear from me.
KC: It's not that, it's just that I'm heading out to dinner. Can I call you next week?
M: Sure. Guess I'll talk to you then.
KC: Ok, bye.
After hanging up the phone, I returned to putting on my sandals. As I took a look at myself in the mirror I decided that I looked pretty good. But I felt like shit.
You are such a coward. Just call him back and talk to him.
M and I have been good friends for several years. We've had oysters in San Diego. We've played golf in Scottsdale. We've had a snowball fight on top of Pikes Peak together. We've been to baseball games. We've been so drunk that neither of us could stand. We've laughed so hard that we had tears running down our cheeks. He was the person I'd call when I really wanted to call C after the break up. I know all about the girl he went with on the big vacation and I know how she called the day after they got back to say she didn't think it was going to work. I know about his parents' divorce and he knows about my parents' divorce.
So I called him back. He asked the question I was sure he would ask. "Why don't you ever return my calls?" So I told him the truth. I told him everything. He apologized and acknowlegded that he hasn't "exactly been Friend of the Year". He told me about the wedding plans - almost as an excuse for being such a raging ass the last time we spoke. He asked if I was dating anyone these days. When I told him that I wasn't he told me not to worry, that it would happen soon because I'm "such a great girl". He told me if it could happen to him, it could happen to anyone.
You met this girl in a bar. She moved in two months later. She's jealous and you two argue all the time. She hates your job. You're getting married and your mom doesn't really approve. That whole "it could happen to anyone" sounds more like a warning to me.
KC: Well I should get going. I was supposed to be at Samba Room 5 minutes ago.
M: Ok. I am sorry if I hurt your feelings. I didn't mean to. And I do missing talking to you.
KC: Thanks. I'll talk to you later.
M: I'll call you next week.
As I hung up the phone, I knew that he would call next week. But I also knew that things with us would probably never really be the same again.
Having a guy friend is hard; losing one is harder.
3 comments:
Sometimes I wonder if it's even possible for guys and girls to really be just friends. I used to think so, now I wonder. Thanks for sharing...I hope you two can find a common ground if you can't get back to where you were.
i agree with marissa. i am not sure it's possible to be friends with guys. i dated a guy for two years; we were friends for four years before that. for all those years, i had misinterpreted his friendship and not recognized the his attention for what it was, a desire. when we finally got together, we were never really on the same page at any given point either and now we are back to being "friends". maybe it's personality or maybe it's just a difference inherent in gender. but there's definitely some truth to it. it's so hard to feel like you are losing someone, though, no matter what.
I think the ball is in his court now...he has the 411 on how to treat friends (why do we always have to explain these things to boys???) and if he is your friend, he'll get it together and start treating you like one. If not, buh-bye. You have other friends. Ooh, I'm totally channelling Dr. Phil today, doncha think?
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