False Advertisement

The scene of the crime: Magazine and snack shop in the airport.
Victim: KC
Assailant: Cheesy McTool

As I was trying to decide between People and Us Weekly, a guy walked up next to me and grabbed the latest issue of Maxim. Out of the corner of my eye, I could see that he was about 6' with dark brown hair. I glanced over and he smiled at me. He had green eyes and long eyelashes. Clearly, my indecision over magazines had paid off ! As he leaned over to grab another magazine I took in as much as I could. Smell = clean with just a hint of cologne. Dress = excellent choice of charcoal pants and a black shirt. Shoes = well shined black loafers, no tassels. (I hate tassels.) Hands = gorgeous! I have a thing for nice hands and his were perfect; strong and clean.

Hottie McDreamy: Um, can I ask you a question?
KC: Sure.
HM: I have a first date coming up. Do you think I should wear these pants? ***asked while holding up picture of man in really bad plaid pants***
KC: Not if you want a second date. (Look at me, I'm being witty and fun with hot stranger!)
HM: Then what should I wear when I pick you up for our date? ***insert wink here***
KC: in my head - Oh dear God, he's Cheesy McTool. ***insert terrified laughter here***
CM: You know, you shouldn't wear horseshoes in that direction.
KC: Excuse me?
CM: Horseshoes aren't supposed to be worn down.
KC: I don't really know what you're talking about.
CM: Your necklace.
KC: Oh, that's not a horseshoe. It's a wishbone.
CM: ***putting hand near my neck and making a pulling motion*** I made a wish. Wanna know what it was?
KC: Um, ok.
CM: That you'd give me your number.
KC: Oh, that's sweet but I have a boyfriend. I'd better go. I have to catch my flight. Bye.

I set the magazine down and got out of there as fast as I could wrestle my luggage through the tiny aisles. As I headed to my gate, I said a silent prayer that he wouldn't be on my flight. No one should be that hot and that inept at holding a normal conversation. That's just false advertisement.

I feel he may have been one of those guys who was so good-looking, he never really worked on the conversational skills because he figured he never had to rely on them.

Here's a tip fellas: if you're that hot and a girl is still making up a boyfriend to get away from you, your game needs some work.