Four Walls and a Door

Red moving crates litter my cube and I’ve knocked my shins against a few of them today. The pictures are off my walls and my files are being purged, as I get ready to move to my new building. Next week at this time, I will have an office. Four walls and a door!

It’s not just the office I’m excited about; it’s the prospect of my new job. I think about the fact that I’ll have more responsibility than I’ve ever had before. I get a bit nervous at that thought so I decide to focus on the miserable task of packing.

I am going through files and find the offer letter I received when I started at this company. I giggle at the salary a little bit as I remember being so excited to be making that much! With my new job, my salary will have more than doubled the number that was on the piece of paper. I feel like a grown up. I feel like I have a career, not just a job. I smile with pride as I put the letter back in the file.

Moving over to my shelves, I take down a myriad of stuff and try to decide how to best pack the delicate items. I grab the award I got for Best Karaoke Performance at the 2002 teambuilding event. I laugh out loud as I remember taking a tablecloth and fashioning it into an evening gown for my rousing performance of “Copacabaña”. I had a flower in my hair and was dress was cut down to there…but I had my work clothes underneath. I place the award in the moving crate. I have a box full of every VIP pass I’ve gotten in the five and half years I’ve worked here. I put the box in the moving crate as well. I find the miniature baseball bat some coworkers gave me at Opening Day in 2001 – it obviously goes in the crate. I pack up the pictures I have of friends and family. I pack up the pictures of the musicians, movie stars and athletes I’ve met thanks to my job.

I look out my 2nd floor window to see the leaves are starting to change. We call my cube The Treehouse because the windows are nestled between two huge trees. From my vantage point, I can see the hogback, Clear Creek and the gardens outside of our building.

I take a break from my packing to have lunch with some co-workers. I wonder who will visit me at the new office since I’m the only one from my department going to the other building. The thought makes me a little sad and I make a mental note to start setting up lunches now, before I go. Everyone asks about my new digs and I feel guilty when I reveal how big my new office is and the fact that I won’t have to share a printer, fax or scanner with anyone.

“You deserve it all. Don’t feel bad.”

I smile when someone says it because I was feeling bad…and a bit unworthy, I guess.

As Blair and I walk back to our respective cubes she mentions how different it will be when I’m gone. I start to get sad because Blair and I started our jobs the same week and she has been one of my closest friends at the office. A two-inch thick divider has separated our work lives for years and I am now nervous at the prospect of not having her close by. Just as I’m getting myself to the point of tears, the green stress ball flies past my face, missing my nose by a millimeter. I throw it back and hit her in the head. We dissolve into a fit of laughter.

Back to the packing, I discover an old granola bar at the bottom of a drawer. Finally, something I can part with. I rummage around my desk and discover I’ve horded post-it notes and blue pens – two items I could not live without. I find my Floozy Fruit “Strawberry Slut” lip balm. I dig around a little more and find my Floozy Fruit “Not-til-We-Marry Berry”. They came in a set and I found them on a business trip. Oh yeah, they’re definitely going to the new office.

The admin at my new building calls to tell me that she has the keys to my office and she needs access to my calendar. She also asks if I want her to order my business cards. I think about how odd it is that someone will be helping me with those things now…and how nice it will be. I thank her and remind myself to send her flowers for helping me get transitioned.

I look around at the mess my usually tidy cube has become. I’ve been in the cube for 4 ½ years and it’s never been this messy. I don’t mind it though as I know the mess just means change. And I’m a girl who has needed some change.

I sit back and wonder what changes will happen once I’m inside those four walls and a door…