Wherein I Ponder the Possibility that My Relatives are Direct Descendants of Paul Revere

If it’s true that your heart stops every time you sneeze, I should be dead right now.

Sometime Friday afternoon, I started to feel like the cold I’d been fighting had somehow gotten the upper hand. By the time I got home Friday night, it was all over. As I curled up into bed, my cousin Jordan called. When she heard I was sick, she offered to bring me some medicine or food. Assuring her that I didn’t need anything, I said goodbye as I reached for another tissue.

Ah...ah...ah...choooo! Good times.

I turned off the light and my phone rang again. It was my Aunt Carol.

“Hi sweetheart, I heard you were sick. Can I bring you anything?”
“How did you hear that?”
“Oh, Jordan called after she got off the phone with you.”
“But that was just like, five minutes ago,” I sniffled.
“Oh honey, you know our family.”

I had to laugh because I do know our family.

My mom has four sisters and two brothers who all live within a 25-mile radius of me. Almost all of my first cousins live in the same radius. We really like Denver.

Saturday morning, I woke up feeling a little better and decided I was well enough to keep my lunch and shopping date with Rosie. I mean, come on, I was sick; I wasn’t dead.

As I was driving to lunch, my Aunt Sharon called. Evidently, she’d talked to Aunt Carol who told her of my illness. After 10 minutes of her getting all of my vital signs, she decided that I would live, but should I need anything, just call her. I thanked her for calling and swore I would call if I needed anything.

While shopping, two more of my cousins and my uncle all left messages checking in on my health. I called each of them back while heading home. More offers were made of chicken noodle soup, Puffs Plus (“So you’re nose doesn’t get raw”, a cousin reminded me.), and some kind of herbal tea.

Sunday morning, I still didn’t feel great but had plans to go to the baseball game. I made it through one beer and five innings before I had to head home. I walked in the door and had more messages from my family. My aunt Geri called to see how I was feeling, my aunt Dora called and offered to bring down her green chili (it’s good for a stuffed up nose because it’s soooo hot) and my cousin Bradley called and asked if he could interview me for a paper he was writing oh, and to see how I was feeling because he’d heard from another cousin that I was sick. I called everyone back and thanked them for checking on me.

I woke up Monday morning with a fever and a very sore throat. I called my boss and left him a message to let him know I would be working from home. I spent the bulk of the day sleeping. Around 3pm my cousin Dawn called because SURPRISE she’d heard I was sick. We chatted for a little while and she told me to call her if I needed anything.

As I hung up the phone, I giggled at how quickly word travels through my family. You should see the grapevine at work when there’s a *whisper* scandal. Don't get me wrong, I adore my family and am so thankful that they all care enough to call and check on me. I just think it's funny the speed with which they are able to communicate.

I was busy catching up on voicemails and emails today at work when my office line started ringing. I let it go to voicemail and continued to work. Thirty seconds later, my cell began to ring. I looked at the caller id.

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Mom cell
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I picked up the phone and before I could say a word, there was this:
“Are you ok? Where are you? The family told me you were sick. Why didn’t you call me?”
“Hi, Mom. I'm ok, I just had a cold. I didn’t call because I didn’t want to worry you.”
“Kendra Marie, you know the family, they’ll make sure I know. You know how word spreads.”
“Mom, is there any chance that we’re related to Paul Revere?”
“I don’t think so sweetheart. That man was an amateur. Had he had MY sisters, word about the British coming would have been spread long before the British even knew they were coming.”