* I must give props to Jill . Her open letter inspired my own letter.*
Dear Love,
We need to talk. I know we’ve been on the outs lately so I thought I would take the first step to repair our damaged relationship. I know I’ve said some pretty nasty things about you and I apologize for that. (You've clearly been keeping your distance from me.) You just have to understand that I said all of those things out of hurt. Let’s review, shall we?
First, there was M. I was 18 and I bumped into him in the elevator. It was love at first sight for both of us. He told me he loved me and that he wanted to be with me forever. Turns out forever can be forgotten when you’re a baseball player on a road trip in Texas. I was so heartbroken. Well you remember; you were there. I loved him but not enough to stick around after that. Go figure...
Next up was J. I really thought I’d figured you out by the time J. and I got together. It seemed like such a good idea because we were really great friends before we started dating. He went back and forth a lot on his feelings and when I finally quit putting up with it, he had to be with me. So we got together and everything was great…for a while. I came to realize that J. and I were great at the friendship but we were rotten at the relationship.
And then there was C. In theory, we made perfect sense. In reality, we just couldn’t make it work. Ending that relationship was by far, the hardest thing I’ve had to do because I wanted it to work more than any other relationship. For a while, I willed it to work. I trusted that you, Love, would be enough. Turns out, you weren’t. I loved him, but more importantly, I loved us. I just couldn’t see a lifetime of not being as important as his career.
Those were my big three; the only men I’ve loved. I won't even go into all of the men I didn't love because really, there's no point in rehashing all of that. I think it's fair to say that you and I have had a rough time in the last decade.
But here’s the thing: I think I may be ready for you again. I'm ready to believe in the possibility of you and that's something I haven't been able to say in quite a while. So anytime the universe wants to send me someone worthy of you, I’d be up for it. Actually, I'd welcome it with open arms.
Sincerely,
KC
13 comments:
Okay, for a second there I thought you were being British and "Love" was an affectionate name for this unnamed person, and then I was trying to figure out who it was and couldn't figure out why you kept bringing in old boyfriends and wondering if there was some girl out there who STOLE one of your boyfriends.
And then I got it. You're addressing it to Love as in heart, not Love as in Sweetie.
Other than that, cool letter. :)
I loved that, you're awesome. So great...
Go you!
I love this idea!! I want to do this, but feel like someone would read it that I wouldn't want to (being someone I know) and then I couldn't really do it uncensored. You know?
Love it.
To Beth's point, just want to clarify that I was writing this to Love, the emotion - not anyone person in specific. Guess I need to work on my clarity when I write. :)
oh, i like thomas' comment...
i hope love replies...
i have had similar relationship situations, particularly the friendship that became more...tough times, but when you're ready, which you are love will find you. i believe that.
Kendra, one of the things I love about you is your eternal optimism that, to quote one of your favorite songs "love will come to you." Sometimes the optimism fades a bit, but in the end it always comes back strong. And not only are you optimistic, but you are intent on waiting for the kind of love you know is out there, and settling for nothing less.
I'm glad you let love know that you think you're ready -- and so I'll be over here "hoping just because I spoke the words that they're true..."
xoA
I love how you are so positive about things – that even when other people would be cursing love and life and everything else, you are able to stand back and see the bigger picture.
I truly hope (and believe) that you will one day get everything you have been waiting so patiently for – and more!!
Well girl, your much better than me. If i wrote a letter to love it would start out, "Dear Cupid you little prick..."
You are positive, I'll give you that, I've pretty much called off the search, i dont know how much heart I got left.
You gave me some inspiration and i just want to let you know that I'm rowdy as F^&* today and I'm from Chicago so if you'd like me to beat the sh^& out of a Texas baseball player, hit me up.
Holla!
I don't know why this never occurred to me before, but love is like crack. It can cause grevious heartbreak, even seemingly ruin your life for months on end, but the highs are so great that we keep coming back for more. And it's always worth it.
You are so sweet. And optimistic. It makes me want to draw hearts and smiley faces, and I never want to do that. Great letter.
I like the idea, but I like your letter more, especially naming the main three but thinking on those that you didn't really love. I think that when you talk about the others, those that perhaps "didn't really count", what this demonstrates more than anything else is your CAPACITY for love, which is the greatest gift of all.
I hope love answers you.
Hi All,
Thanks so much for the words of encouragement! I hope Love answers too. :)
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