Tuesday, May 09, 2006

Be Here Now

I just want to be here now.

Right here.

I don't want to worry about tomorrow or hold on to yesterday. Let's just be right here for now.

It can't be that hard.

I want to shake you and make you see that you don' t get endless chances. Infinity does not apply. Sooner or later, that well dries up. If you're not careful, you just might miss out on me. And that would be a shame because I'm pretty fucking great. Do you have any idea how long it took me to realize that - that I'm great? Too long. I can't forget it just because you don't always seem to remember it.

I'll never accuse you of taking advantage but you'd be a liar if you said you never took forgranted. It's easy to do because I make it easy. I didn't want to make anything hard because I was acutely aware of how hard things had been for you. But it has occurred to me that everyone has hard times. True character is shown during the hard times.

Maybe we can't be here now. Maybe our "here" is two different places. Maybe I should just walk away. Lord knows it's a move I've perfected over the years.

Make up your mind.
Make a decision.
Make sense.

I want to be there for you, with you. But if you can't do the same, we can't be here now.

14 comments:

Anonymous said...

Yes.
And beautiful writing, by the way.

BB said...

You're the prize!!!!

Cheryl said...

Wow! Great post hon. And great realizations about yourself. Anyone who can't realize that too, well you said it all.

Laura said...

I feel you on this one, darlin'. Good writing.

Amber said...

Yes. What Beck said. Only I believe the exact quote is "you're the fucking prize." The profanity makes it more emphatic.

I'll have to hear more about this...but it sounds oddly familiar...

JillWrites said...

YES! What they said! What you said!

Great writing. I hope the emotional part turns out just as well.

Sass said...

That band stillife i sent you yesterday on myspace listen to the song begining to feel.

Adam said...

amen

Marissa said...

kendra i'm going to say something to you that you said to me exactly when i needed you to: YOU'RE THE PRIZE! you're right, you are fucking great and any guy who's lucky enough to get to be with you needs to know that.

AvR said...

"Infinity does not apply". Indeed it does not, and it's a sore lesson to be learned. Incredibly well written, and thank you for it.

Okie said...

Gun-shyness is the one thing you can't train out of a bird dog. Sometimes they will outgrow it on their own though.

Marissa said...

ps. Kendra...love you LOTS!! sending you lots of hugs and kisses and laughter and smiles and all things good. You are so amazing...truly the prize. And such a prize deserves only someone who's prize-worthy. xoxo

Kyahgirl said...

Hi KC. I have nothing stellar to contribute except to say you're a great writer and yes, THE prize!

JillWrites said...

Hello dear,
I just wanted to wish you well as Amber's post has informed me of the reason of you lack to posting this week. I am very sorry for your loss, and I hope that you and your family are able to find some peace in this difficult time. I am thinking of you. I will try to write again when I get home from work. Take care of youself.
Jill