I was having dinner with Mr. Normal last night and we were discussing the race I ran on Sunday. I hadn’t even planned on running it but Meghan, Rosie and Liz were doing it and asked me to join. Meghan and I were just going to walk it (the race was a walk/run) but once we got up there with everyone, it just seemed silly to walk. The race was 5 miles and while I’m sure that doesn’t seem like much, I assure you that when you’re still sweating liquor from the previous weekend in VEGAS, baby five miles is a ways. Megs and I had to walk a couple of times but for two girls who had no intention of running a 5 mile race, I was pretty proud of us.
So anyway, back to the dinner conversation. I was explaining to him that my legs were so sore but but it was worth it.
“The thing I realized is that running is the only time in my life when I don’t worry about things. My head totally clears when I’m running. I’m only focused on breathing and putting one foot in front of the other.”
I think the fact that my 30th birthday is closing in (there’s still time to shop…it’s not until July 27th) has me thinking a lot about taking care of myself. Because let’s face it – I haven’t exactly been doing such a splendid job as of late.
As I was running on Sunday, I had an epiphany of sorts – I’m the only person who has to take care of me. I’m certain this should have occurred to me long before the ripe, old age of 29 but I don’t think it had. It’s not that I can’t rely on other people or ask for help but at the end of the day I have to be much better at caring for myself. It was bad enough that I ended up in the emergency room but being told that I was there basically because I was doing a crappy job of taking care of myself was just awful. (And I’m not even going to mention how hideous the bills from the ambulance and ER visit were…and I’ve got really good insurance. Seriously people, those bills are going to cut into my shoe budget for a while.)
“I think it’s great that you’re doing this for yourself. I’ll go running with you anytime you want.” He was so sincere and supportive that I almost forgot that there have been times in the last few months when I’ve needed to clear my head of him. I’ve only recently begun to open up to him about how much his Dramapalooza 2006 has bothered me. I’m sure I’ll be letting him know more as my quest to take better care of myself begins. It will be interesting to see if he remains as supportive.
But in the meantime, I’m just going to focus on breathing and putting one foot in front of the other…
6 comments:
Dramapalooza...I love it! I know some people whose lives are Dramapalooza.
Breathing and taking it one step at a time is a good way to go about things, even if you aren't running.
Kendra - I'm speechless. I shouldn't be, because we're always TOTALLY in sync, but once again, I could have written it myself!
That is why I run! Because it's the ONLY time (aside from dancing, maybe) that I don't think, I don't worry, I don't stress. As you so eloquently put it, I concentrate only on breathing and putting one foot in front of the other. And recently I had the same realization - I'm the only one to take care of me. It hit me when I really began to think about my parents' mortality and it freaked the hell out of me. Anyway...even though we're miles apart, know that I'm here, probably thinking the same thoughts as you. And there's definitely some solace in that! :)
Y'know, in all my years of running, I have never accidentally run a race.
Congrats on doing it. That's fantastic.
that's my medicine and a perfect antidote for all that ails ya. Grab your ipod and head out the door.
Your friends will always be there to take care of you. I just got a new phone again again so lets talk tonight.
Whoa, KC. Me too! I actually wrote something like that into the play that I'm working on--that the only time I don't think too much is when I'm running. Isn't it amazing? Good for you. Take care of yourself.
Cheryl: good point. :)
Marissa: I should have thrown dancing in there too because I don't overthink when I'm dancing either.
Thomas: All is well. Good to hear from you, stranger!
Whinger: Remember the time we were running at the lake and you were attacked by the goose? I think you accidently ran a race that day.
Sass - I need to get an IPod. I'm so last millenium.
Jill - perhaps you should name the character Kendra in the play? :) (Note how shameless I am in the play too.)
Kristina - My ambition was lost for a while but I managed to find it. :)
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