"... men and women can't be friends because the sex part always gets in the way."
-Harry Burns, "When Harry Met Sally"
Can men and women really ever just be friends? In some cases, I say yes. I have guys friends with whom nothing romantic or physical has ever happened and we've been friends for years. We keep in touch over email, see eachother when we can, celebrate birthdays together and through it all, we're just friends.
The part I've never been able to master was the part about being friends with someone after the romantic and physical have taken place. I'm sure it's been done, but not by me.
So, dear readers, what do you think? Can you ever go back to being friends after the romance is over?
7 comments:
maybe. I think it would depend on the relationship before the romance, and even during.
Hmmm, it's definitely difficult. I'm trying to think if it would be easier to remain friends if you had been friends first, or not. Both ways have difficulties.
i've been able to do it, although there is always that underlying tention. personally, i found it thrilling and a slight ego boost knowing he still was attracted, but that we were both smart enough to end a relationship that was not "right", even if it was not exactly "wrong." regardless, only you can decide if the pros of friendship outweigh the cons. some old memories are fun to share an inside joke over, some old memories can bring tears faster than one would want.
good luck to you in whatever you decide is best for you. i've been following your blog for a bit and can tell you have a good head on your shoulders. you'll make the right choice. and if you don't, you'll be strong enough to move on.
(ok, did that even make sense? hope you can understand what i am trying to say!)
woops. tension has an S. sorry. i blame friday the 13th.
;)
On occasion, I guess. I HAVE remained good friends with a HS boyfriend even after the physical (albiet only making out - it WAS HS after all...), probably mostly because he came out of the closet a while ago, so there's no real tension there...
And one other REAL physical ex who I remain friends with (even AFTER he dumped me with some lame excuse for a bimbo with an ass 3x the size of mine who eventually dumped HIM by announcing she was pregnant by another guy - HA!) and honestly, it is SO FUN reminding him what he "threw away..." but in retrospect we are totally wrong for each other romantically. Yet he is the one I complained about Mr. South Side to and who I can talk to about pretty much anything, which is nice.
Then there was the "friends-with-benefits" buddy when I was barely 21 - I never thought a relationship like that was possible, yet it SO was. Shame he disappeared and I haven't seen him in like fifteen years... actually, I last saw him when I came home for X-mas from Reno (but didn't mention him in TBOTE, he had a girlfriend at the time and it wasn't exciting enough to include...!)
Anyway, that's my two cents. If anyone cares. ;)
Harry was right.
No... not if it was more than friendship in the first place.
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