When a Litte Innocent Flirting Goes Horribly, Horribly Wrong

After meeting me only once he told someone he thought I was "distant". This seemed rather odd to me because just how "close" should one be after meeting only once? We met over a year ago and I'd only seen him once or twice since then. At least that was true up until January.

He asked me to meet him for a drink last week. I declined. Seemed the prudent thing to do given the last few months. Maybe I should probably go back and explain the last few months...

So it was the day Heath Ledger died and we were out with mutual friends. While watching the CNN ticker on Heath, he commented on my vast knowledge of pop culture. It was done with sarcasm and I'm a big fan of sarcasm so somewhere around the third drink, flirting ensued. It seemed harmless given the age gap between us; the numbers were more heavily weighted on my side. (Sidebar: This is highly unusual for me as I am usually the younger one. The last two each had several years on me.) Anyway, Junior and I did some flirting. I've always been a big fan of harmless flirting and this time was no different...until I found out he had a girlfriend. Now I may be a flirt, but not with someone else's significant other so I cut it off. Later that night, my phone rang as I crawled into bed. He apologized for the flirting and then, in the same breath, began flirting again. I cut him off, said good night and ended the call. Ten minutes later, he called back. I said good night again and turned off my phone in an attempt to cut the booty call off at the pass.

We saw eachother several times over the next few weeks and his behavior was all over the board, ranging from fun and friendly to cold and curt. He seemed to keep an eye on me when we were out which, at first, I thought was just because I'd gotten hit on one night and complained that none of the guys came to save me from the guy with too much cologne. Junior laughed and said he would be sure to run interference if it happened again. He seemed fine that night. Of course a few days later he was a total ass for seemingly no reason whatsoever.

A few weeks later, we ended up at the same Super Bowl party and he seemed ok but later I found out that he became rather jealous when I walked into the party with another guy. For the record, I didn't come with anyone, just ran into a friend at the front door. And again, for the record, Junior has a girlfriend. She lives on the other side of the country and I'm well versed on how tough a long-distance relationship can be, however, that is no excuse for a) the flirting or b) the jealousy.

The next time I saw him he was such an ass I could barely stand to be around him. I tried to keep things light and breezy but he wanted to be a fucknut because someone asked about a guy I met while in Austin. It seems only right that the guy with the girlfriend would treat me - the single girl - like crap for talking to someone.

Now I hate to admit it, but just a few years ago, that kind of behavior would have been a total turn on for me. Not the part about the girlfriend but the hot and cold routine was like Spanish Fly to me for many years. I guess I saw it as a challenge. These days though, it's exhausting and annoying and I have no interest in men who behave that way. Hooray for personal growth!

So when he asked me to meet him for a drink last week, I declined. I didn't give a reason or suggest another time, I just declined. I spent a good deal of time last year getting rid of people in my life who didn't deserve to be there; I don't see the point of taking on any new ones.

If he thought I was distant before, I can only imagine what he thinks of me now. If only I cared...