Are You Ok?

It hasn't been four years since I sent my last round of "Are You Ok?" emails.

I woke up this morning and turned on the news as I headed to the shower. As I was getting undressed I heard the NBC New Special Report that there had been several bombings in London. As I wrapped a towel around myself, I walked back to the tv. I saw the pictures of police in the streets and people on stretchers. Distraught witnesses were giving accounts of what the saw while on buses or on the tube.

As I sat on the bed, I got a sick feeling in the pit of my stomach. The same feeling I'd had on September 11, 2001. I knew people there and I just wanted to know if they were ok.

Feeling a little panicked, I grabbed my computer and sent an email to a co-worker who was in London on vacation.

Then I sent another email to a friend who is currently living in London. J. and I met in pre-school and only recently found eachother. I was actually reading the Sunday paper a few months ago when I saw an article (this is not the exact article but you'll get the gist) about her. We hadn't actually spoken in 20 years but I sent an email to the journalist who wrote the article and that email was then sent on to J. We've been in touch ever since.

After both emails were sent, I waited.

Soon my co-worker sent me an email back:
We are okay, thank God. We were just using those modes of transportation yesterday and were going to get up this morning and use again but we overslept. We leave for Paris tomorrow morning. Keep us in your thoughts and prayers. Thanks for checking on me, G
----Sent from my BlackBerry Wireless Handheld----

Shortly thereafter, I received an email from J.:

Am fine. Was kicked off the tube after the first explosion and then told to take a bus, and then kicked off the bus after more buses were bombed and then not allowed to walk to work - so I turned and walked 3 hours back home. Mobiles not working is very annoying!!! but am safe. thanks for checking. love, j

I exhaled. And then I started to cry a little. I wiped my eyes with the corner of my towel. It was just a little too close to the way I felt on 9/11. My best friend had been in New York on vacation. I frantically called her that morning thinking she was on one of the flights. Thankfully, she had taken the Newark to San Francisco flight the night of September 10th. I had several friends who lived in NYC at the time and spent the better part of that morning trying to get in touch with them or their families to get word that they were safe. I also had many employees who worked in Manhattan everyday. I remember it was roughly 2am the following morning when I had heard from everyone. Thankfully, everyone I knew was safe. But many of them knew someone who was hurt or killed.

As I got into the shower my relief turned into a strange sort of guilt. I was so happy that those I knew were safe but I also knew that many people were not.

I finished packing my bags and got ready to head into our NJ office and then off to the airport to head home. I said a prayer that those in London would find peace and that nothing else would happen. Before I shut down my computer I re-read the emails, just to see again that they were both safe.

The first 25 years of my life, I never had to worry about sending those emails. I can't get used to the idea that those emails could be a semi-regular event for the next 25 years (or more) of my life.