Is everyone at a party that I wasn't invited to?
The reason I ask this question is that for the past four, count ‘em FOUR nights, I’ve been awoken by the sound of my cell phone ringing.
The scene usually goes a little something like this: I bolt upright in bed trying to remember where I put my phone. After a few stumbles in the dark, I find the phone and blink hard as my eyes adjust to the flashing caller i.d. lights. Certain that there has been a horrible accident, I always answer. The other end of the line is usually quite loud and/or filled with laughter and/or music.
Here are some quotes from the last few evenings (Names have been omitted to protect the hungover):
1) “Kendraaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa, pick up your phone. Oh wait, you did pick up your phone. What the fuck are you up to? Wanna know what I’m up to? About 9 beers and countless shots. Ahhhhhhhahahahahah!” (I could barely hear this Drunk because Tom Petty’s “Free Fallin” was blaring in the background.)
2) “Kendra, it’s Drunk A and Drunk B. Where are you? You need to call us cuz we are all f*cked up and want to talk to you. If you don’t call us back, we’re going to call you every hour on the hour, until you call us.” (I left the phone in my car that night so I didn’t get the message until the next morning. Thankfully, both Drunk A and Drunk B have short attention spans so they did not call every hour on the hour.)
3) “Happy Birthday, sweet girl! I figured you’d be calling me since it’s your birthday but you’re probably already passed out. I’ll be passed out soon but I knew I had to call the Drunk Dialing Bandit on her birthday.” (I didn’t get to the phone in time because it was buried in my purse so I got this message. It was left 1 week and 1 day after my birthday but damn, it made me laugh.)
4) “I don’t think you understand the gradeness of the steep.” (Drunk trying to describe the hill up which Drunk was walking.)
5) Drunks:“KC! We heard you’re coming to the Cape. Is that true?”
KC: “Uh, yeah, it’s true.”
Drunks: “That is awesome! Girl, we are gonna get you so hammered!”
KC: “Can’t wait. Can I go back to sleep now?”
Drunks: “Yeah, get your rest. You’re gonna need it for your trip out here! We’ll sing you to sleep…” ***insert tone-deaf rendition of “Goodnight Sweetheart” here****
Clearly, this is karmic retribution for the innumerable times I’ve drunk dialed; certain that people would LOVE to hear from me. And honestly, I don’t mind the drunk dial. What I do mind: the fact that everyone is partying and no one is inviting me. Sure, all of these calls came from outside the Denver metro area, but still…an invite makes a girl feel good. Then again, the drunk dials are pretty entertaining.
5 comments:
Yes, while those were entertaining, none can top your numerous drunk dials, Bandito.
My favorite was of course, the night you called me (From someone's car, on your way home) to come pick you up from the club. Good thing I didn't hear the phone because I too was drunk and just happened to get home before you. Because of the whole "Pants Debacle of '04." But I digress.
You rule, O Drunk Dialing Bandit -- dial on, my friend -- dial on.
yes, clearly. I'd invite you to any drunken swarray ( totally know I spelled it wrong).
I'm almost certain I know the parties in scenario 2. If it had not been a school night, there most likely would've been Drunk C and Drunk D.
My name is Beckibee and I am Drunk B. (The first step is admitting you have a problem!) Glad you liked our call. Still recovering, btw.
That's hilarious!!! I especially like the birthday drunk dial hahahahaha! That's where you say "it's the thought that counts" right?! Kendra, I promise to pass along invites to any and all parties!
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