The Kid Makes Me Laugh

He’s a pretty boy. His hair is his pride and joy. He talks about himself a lot. He pushes my buttons just because he knows he can. He goes AWOL and then an email will pop up at 2pm on a Wednesday or my phone will ring as I’m driving to the airport. And we’re both Leos. No, no, this will never work.

And yet, it does. And it has for over a decade.

We met in the dorms our freshman year of college and have been friends ever since. He would keep an eye out for me at parties, making sure that I was ok and with the right people. I was the consultant when he would buy presents for his girlfriend. He forgave me when I cut his beloved hair and accidently forgot to put the guard on the trimmer, leaving a 2x4 inch section of his head totally bald. I know the secrets of the Sock Bandit. We made our way through a snowstorm with two other friends to put white lights and red bows on Jenny’s memorial tree the Christmas after she died. No matter who we were with or where we were, there was always one song that we would have to dance to when it came on. He sat next to me while we took the LSAT. We suffered through Civil Procedure, Property Law, and Torts together. I called him first when I decided to stay in Denver. He called me the afternoon before he proposed to his wife. We sang karaoke together with all the boys two nights before his wedding. I judge every guy I date by whether or not they could hang out with him…and not be made fun of by him later on.

We’ve only had one real fight. It lasted roughly 5 hours. It ended when I picked up the phone and heard him singing an apology to me. When he heard me laughing on the other end he said something close to this: " I woke up this morning and a few things were missing. I don’t know where I left my car last night. I can’t find my wallet or my left shoe. I’m not really worried about all that. But I know I was an asshole last night and I just want to make sure that you know how sorry I am. To show you how sorry I am, I’m going to take you to breakfast to apologize. I’ll be over on my Schwinn in 20 minutes so get dressed and find a helmet because I’m still drunk but I want to make sure we’re good and the only way we’re going to be good is if I apologize face to face. It’s important to kiss ass and beg forgiveness in person. I’ve also found you’re easier to work with when you’ve been properly fed.” I can’t hold a grudge when someone apologizes and makes me laugh my ass off in the process.

I could go on and on with stories about his time in an Iowa jail cell…or his adventures at Summerfest…or the time he dumped the girl over voicemail…or his love for double stitch socks…but it's a big day so instead, I'll just wish him a Happy Birthday!

Welcome to the last year of your 20's, Chris. Knock, knock, knockin on 30's door...