I bought new boots for my trip to NYC and was excited yesterday as I slipped them on in the morning because I just love new shoes. The boots are black and come up to about mid-calf. My ex-boyfriend called this type of boot the "FMN Boots". FMN stands for F*** Me Now because he thought that was the message being sent by the boots. I contend that every girl should own a pair of FMN boots because they are empowering. I'm pretty sure I could conquer the world in the boots.
They looked perfect but the left one felt a little tight. Figuring that I just needed to break them in a little, I headed out. As walked into my garage and my left foot started to hurt a little. I ignored it because some of my cutest shoes have brought me pain for a while until broken in properly. (Much like then men I've dated...but that's a post for another time.)
As I walked across the parking lot to my 8 a.m. meeting the left boot really started to hurt. I like to think of myself as a survivor when it comes to footwear so for me to be in pain after only 20 minutes, something was up.
I was lucky enough to get to stand for the next hour in a meeting so I was really happy. As I was giving my presentation, I was also busy crafting the strongly worded letter (in my head) to the maker of the evil, vice-like boots. The letter included phrases such as "...I did not use my hard earned money to buy crap-ass boots..." and "...how do you people sleep at night knowing these things are on the market?!'
By the time I was able to sit down, my dogs were barking. I grabbed a chair in the back of the room and tried to sit down without yelping out in pain. I was near a corner and by myself so I decided to unzip the boot and do some investigating. The only problem was that the boots have a long-ass zipper and it's rather noisy. At that point I didn't care because the pain was so bad. I quickly removed the boot and just as I was about to throw it across the room I saw something inside.
***Prepare to laugh long and hard at me right about now...***
Upon closer inspection, it came to my attention that I had left the plastic insert in my boot. You know that plastic part that they put in the boot to help it hold its shape? Well that was the part that was killing my left foot. Apparently, I was so excited to put the boot on I didn't removed that insert. There was no way for me to remove it in a subtle manner so I just yanked the thing out and threw it in the trash. Things were much more comfortable after that and I was able to conquer the world later in the afternoon.
Long live the FMN boots!
11 comments:
The scary thing is, I almost didn't buy my pretty birthday boots for the same reason. And (insert Twilight Zone music here) it was also THE LEFT BOOT!! I think boot people deliberately put those plastic thingys in just to antagonize people like us. Only, (and I say this with absolutely no gloating at all) I DID remove the plastic IN the store, before I bought them… ;)
Oh, I've done that. Funny what men think scream "f me now." I think every girl should own several things that men hear those sort of messages emanating from.
And that was a priceless aside about men that cause pain until they are broken in properly.
Kendra - HILARIOUS! Okay, one more thing to file under the "How Kendra and Marissa are alike" file. I've done that, too. AND once, I bought boots that weren't a pair! They were two totally different styles, and I didn't notice until a week into wearing them!
Laughing. I have those same boots. They are Hott. My gay neighbor calls them my
"F-me boots"
And I'd be lying if I haven't done the same thing. Slowing down when there are a lot of things to do is hard.
Funny story.
AHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAAAAAAAA!!!
I'm totally laughing WITH you.
My girl is SO pretty...
Dasi - there should be a warning on the box or something. You cannot expect a girl to focus on the little details when the boots are that cute. :)
Jill - I've found the boots are easier to break in than the men.
Marissa - When I read your comment, I actually looked down to ensure that I was, in fact, wearing two of the SAME boots. :)
Sass - the boots are hot, aren't they? I totally love them now that the right one isn't making me want to rip my hair out and set it on fire!
Thomas - Shouldn't you be studying for finals and getting ready to move?
Amber - Perhaps I should be sent to...wait for it...boot camp? So I can learn the fine art of insert removal.
Oh Sweetie.
You sure are cute.
I LOVE THIS POST! HAHAHA!
so glad it was the insert and not the actual boot! :)
Oh Kendra I am done laughing long and hard and want to echo Anisa that it's a good thing it wasn't the boots. My friends and I call the FMBs (F*** Me Boots) and yes, we should all have a pair.
silly Kendra. cute boots though! have fun in nyc!!!
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