I have been toying with the idea of breaking up with the blog. Lately, whenever I sit down to write I can't seem to form a coherent sentence. I'm not kidding when I say I've started nine different posts and never finished a one of them. I've been traveling for work a bit and somehow managed to get the seal-bark cough that I had right after the Turkey Trot. And I've been trying to get rid of that damn thing for a week because I have to get on another plane Tuesday morning and head to Austin for the week. (Sidebar: I know there are a couple of readers in Austin. I'd love any recommendations of places I should get to while there so feel free to email me your favorites.)
I digress, back to me ditching the blog.
So yes, I've been thinking about it. Lately, writing seems more like a chore than anything else. Life has left me spread a bit thin these days and when I do have time to myself, I don't want to sit in front of a computer. But as each days passes, I think about how I didn't write anything and I feel obligated to do so. And let me tell you, obligation is about as appealing to me a chocolate-covered cockroach. Let me be clear - when I say I feel obligated, it's not because I'm laboring under the delusion that my tens of readers are dying every day I don't post; it's just feels like posting on a regular basis is something I should be doing. So I was discussing this predicament with a very wise friend of mine when VWF posed this question to me;
"In general, don't you pretty much do what you want to do, when you want to do it?"
"Um, well...in general, yes."
"Well why should your blog be any different? Write when you want to write. Don't write when you don't want to. It shouldn't be that damn complicated."
"........"
"Now can we go get a drink?"
I stood there for a moment like my VWF had just solved one of the great mysteries of life. And ever since VWF said it, I haven't felt obligated to write at all. And the funny part is that as soon as that feeling of obligation went away, all I want to do is write. Go figure. So despite the fact that I just got home from a Super Bowl party and I'm exhausted and I have the seal-bark cough, I walked into my office to write...about how I wasn't sure I wanted to write anymore...but then had an epiphany that I didn't have to if I didn't want to...and so now I'm writing again.
And with that synaptic misfire I ask you, aren't you happy I'm back?
7 comments:
We would have missed you, K.
Estatic, really!
I've been there myself...
hi. i'm just a random reader with experience with seal bark coughs. :) you could have bronchitis/asthma. since i started taking singulair and allegra every day, i've been w/o a seal bark cough even after a cold (1st time in 5 years). good luck!
agreed! only when write when you want to -- never out of obligation.
that being said, i feel the same way. i always feel guilty when i don't write, and therefore some of my posts (in my opinion) are complete crap because i'm writing just to write something - not because i have anything of substance to say. so i'm going to adopt your rationale and only write when i want to!
I'm glad you decided to keep writing because you always keep me entertained.
(I sent you an email with some ideas for your time in Austin.)
I suffer the same malady with writing. For sure.
But when I figure I'm all done, I remind myself that I'm not getting paid, or any of that business, and ideas come back to me.
Who knows, just letting you know I've been in the same boat.
B.
yay for vwf! i love your blog, but can completely appreciate that you should only write when you feel like it. you are in my reader so i will excitedly read your next post. until then, enjoy life. don't worry about us!
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