Overheard at the Cabin

“I’m gonna whomp your ass at horseshoes.” – my dad to me

“Keep it in the county.” – my dad to me while watching my horseshoe skip down the meadow

“ Where is my horseshoe?!?! I suck at this game! Why are we still playing?” – me said to anyone who would listen while playing horseshoes
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“Your grandma gave me spicy nuts for Father’s Day” – Grandpa referring to the Cajun flavored cashews Grandma gave him
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“It’s just so surprising.” – Grandma’s response to news that we got a new shower curtain. This was coupled with a look of disgust.

“Abort mission! Abort mission!” - me to my sister as we tried to hang the new (and to my grandma, quite controversial) shower curtain in the bathroom.

“I’m hanging the effing shower curtain.” – my sister’s gritted-teeth response to Grandma’s displeasure over the shower curtain
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“One” - me
“One” - Kelsey
“One” – Karlie
“Two” – Cousin Madison
“One” – Aunt Marcia
“Five” - Cousin Matthew, age 13
In response to the question, "How many bratwurst do you want?"
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“That was so nice of you girls to warsh those dishes!” – Grandma to my sisters as I after we did the 974 dirty dishes after the 10 of us ate dinner. (Sidebar: “warsh” is the way they say “wash” in Missouri and various parts of the Midwest)
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“You should have told us what things go in s’mores!” – Grandpa to me after he returned from the market after an hour of wandering around looking at all the different graham crackers and marshmallows.
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“Is that your dog’s poop or our dog’s poop?” – my 9 year old cousin Madison upon coming upon some poop in the meadow
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“Where did I leave that cotton-pickin’ lighter?!” – Grandpa to my dad as they headed to the deck with their cigars
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“Why does Grandpa say “cotton-pickin’”? What does that mean?” – Karlie’s question to me as Grandpa ransacked the house looking for aforementioned lighter
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“Um, your dog totally just barfed back there.” – Kelsey to me as she thumbed through the latest issue of Glamour while on the drive home
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“Why is there grass in the puke? It smells pretty bad.” – Karlie to me as I cleaned up the mess
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Ah, my family - the great wordsmiths of the 21st century.