In A Pinch

Things I did today that sucked:
Got a flu shot
Rolled my ankle in my cute new Mary Janes
Had a fitness assessment wherein my body fat was measured with tong-like device.

Things I did today that did not suck:
Lots of progress on work project
More sit-ups and push-ups than I thought possible during aforementioned fitness test
Made a delicious dinner of tenderloin, couscous/spinach/feta/pine nut stuffed tomatoes, roasted new potatoes.
Watched "Glee"

I guess it's not a horrible day if the "did not suck" list is longer than the "suck" list.

The fitness assessment was interesting because I thought I would rock the cardio part and then be shameful at the strength test. I was wrong. Apparently I am rather strong when compared to other girls my age. (Sidebar: I still think of myself as a girl. I originally typed "other women my age" rather that "girls" but I just giggled and erased it as it just made me sound old and I'm young and vivacious, damnit.) Anywho, I did well on strength and flexibility; however, my cardio was not as fantabulous as I thought it would be. And the body fat measurements? OH. DEAR. LORD. I knew it would be a little embarrassing because the trainer said I'd have to be shirtless (but in a sports bra as I am no gym floozy). I'm not the girl at the gym who runs around in her sports bra; I try to keep the girls covered up so having them covered with only a layer of lycra/spandex blend was daunting. So there I stood in my yoga pants and my sports bra, wishing I had managed to keep a little bit of summer tan but realizing that sadly, I had not, and just looked white and squishy. The trainer grabs the back of my arm and begins to measure. And it's not just a little squeeze but a full-on pinch. I yelped a little and she apologized saying that it might "get a little uncomfortable". Yeah, because I wasn't uncomfortable standing under unforgiving fluorescent lighting in my sports bra while you stand there with your fit, trim body taking notes on all the ways my body is neither fit nor trim. Go ahead and add injury to insult and grab my thigh with those forsaken pliers. And then squeeze really hard. And then maybe you could spit in my eye just to round out the hurt and humiliation. After that was the treadmill test where they see how quickly you can walk 1 mile. Speed walking is not my bag, baby. If my legs are going that fast, let's just get our run on, shall we? Trainer put the kibosh on running. Just walk as fast as you can do 1 mile. So I did. And my legs were killing me because I ran yesterday. And I ran hard yesterday. So though walking 1 mile doesn't sound that difficult, it wasn't a whole lot of fun and I didn't do all that well. Cue the shame. Who can't walk 1 mile quickly? I can run a mile, no problem. But walk it as fast as possible without your heart leaping out of your chest? Sucktastic.*sigh* After that I had to do the flexibility test which I did really well at and regained a tiny shred of self-respect. The last part was what I was dreading the most - strength test. Push-ups and crunches. And I couldn't believe it but I did quite a few of each. So the trainer took all of the info and put it into some computer and came back with a 7 page breakdown which basically said that I have great flexibility and strength and not-so-great aerobic fitness and body composition. So basically I'm strong and bendy...and also fluffy and out of breath. Swell. I take the same test again in three months and I guarantee the results will improve. If I'm going to have my flesh violently pinched again there is for-effing-sure going to be less of it.

Thank the good lord that my dinner was so yummy (and rather healthy) and "Glee" was so glorious. Nearly made me forget about the welts all over my fluff-tastic body.