I Put the 'Ass' in Embarrassment

I recently moved offices again, despite my best effort to never have to go through the whole debacle again. I am now in the upstairs offices which is nice because I’m much closer to the team I work with every day. The offices are in two wings, north and south, which are separated by a long corridor.

It’s been absurdly cold here in Denver for the last five days and we had a few pipes burst over the weekend. One of the aforementioned pipes ran the length of the aforementioned corridor and the carpet was soaked. Yesterday during the clean up of the Great Flood of ’06 industrial fans were brought in to help dry up the mess. The fans were a great source of amusement to me because when I walked down the hall, my hair blew back in a very dramatic fashion. It made me feel like a supermodel on the runways in Milan.

The fans are still running here today and just a while ago I was walking back to my office at the other end of the hall. Knowing that no one was around (everyone was in a staff meeting that I had just left) I began to strut just a little. You can’t really blame me because I was wearing my black pencil skirt, a super-cute lavender sweater and my FMN boots – it was an outfit that needed some strut. Anyway, I’m workin’ it and my hair is blowing around and the boots are all shades of sex kitten when…

… one of our vendors appeared as if from no where at the other end of the corridor.

I stopped dead in my tracks and just looked at him for a minute.

There are two guys who show up from time to time from this particular vendor – one is very sweet, talkative and older than dirt; the other is younger, quiet and hot. Guess which one was standing there…

Super Hot Vendor.

Super.

I smiled as I could feel my cheeks turning several shades of red. We’ve never actually met so I said hi and introduced myself. He extended his hand and as I walked towards him, my heel slipped a little and I tripped. I didn’t fall down but I’m quite certain my arms flailed about in a rather unattractive manner. I’m also quite certain the look of terror on my face was something to behold. He asked if I was ok and I muttered yes as I prayed that the floor would open up and swallow me whole. Since it didn’t swallow me whole, I helped him find the conference room he needed.

And just moments ago he stopped in to say goodbye. Guess who was under her desk, on her hands and knees, trying to get her new lamp plugged in…

Why can’t I, just once, be the cool girl? Why do I always come off as the Latin reincarnation of Lucille Ball???

If it were possible for someone to die from humiliation, I would be dead.